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This week's poll is based upon a new song -- recorded Sunday -- by my friend Christine Lavin, the folk singer. It's titled "Mencken's Pen," and in it, Chris uses the actual words of the great Baltimore journalist H.L. Mencken to argue that as a people and as a society, we have not evolved much at all in 80 years.

The song begins with this quote, about the presidency:

"As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

But that's not the subject of this poll because it is so perfect and so apropos that the weight of it would skew all the remaining results. So, forget that one.

1. Of the following lines (all Mencken's), which are the three that are most brilliant? CHOOSE ONLY THREE.
 
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
 
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
 
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
 
Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.
 
I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and I don't want to meet them.
 
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
 
In war, the heroes always outnumber the soldiers 10 to one.
 
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that if you were in his place, you would lie.
 
Legend is a lie that has attained the dignity of age.
 
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
 
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
 
Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
 
In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.
 
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
 
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

 
 
 
2. Of the same group, choose the two funniest. CHOOSE ONLY TWO.
 
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
 
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
 
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
 
Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.
 
I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and I don't want to meet them.
 
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
 
In war, the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
 
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that if you were in his place, you would lie.
 
Legend is a lie that has attained the dignity of age.
 
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
 
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
 
Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
 
In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.
 
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
 
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.

 
 
 
3. And lastly, the same group. Choose the one that seems most true to you. CHOOSE ONLY ONE.
 
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
 
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
 
Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.
 
Every man sees in his relatives, and especially in his cousins, a series of grotesque caricatures of himself.
 
I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker, but simply because I detest the sort of people who go to lectures and I don't want to meet them.
 
If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
 
In war, the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
 
It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that if you were in his place, you would lie.
 
Legend is a lie that has attained the dignity of age.
 
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
 
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
 
Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious.
 
In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.
 
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
 
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking.
 
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