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  5. Craig's Friendship Service Level Survey
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Dear Friend:

You are invited to participate in Craig's Friendship Service Level Survey. In this survey, approximately 1 people will be asked to complete a survey that asks questions about Craig's Friendship Service Level. It will take approximately .1 minutes to complete the questionnaire.

We take Craig's friendship service level very seriously, and we are always trying to improve our level of friendship to you, our friend.

Thank you very much for your time and support. Please start with the survey now by clicking on the Continue button below.
 
 
 
Overall, Craig has been a good friend to me.
 
Strongly agree
 
Weakly agree
 
Weakly disagree
 
Strongly disagree
 
Strongly call it a lie
 
Other
 
 
 
 
How would you describe Craig?
 
Beyond compare
 
Beyond the pale
 
Beyond the rainbow
 
Beyond redemption
 
Beyond resuscitation
 
Other
 
 
 
 
How helpful has Craig been, in general?
 
He helps me survive mentally, physically, and spiritually
 
He helps me believe in who I am
 
He helps me be glad I'm not him
 
He's a twat who doesn't help me with anything
 
Other
 
 
 
 
How engaging is Craig in person?
 
He makes me wish I were gay so I could fuck his brains out
 
He's interesting when he's not being doltish
 
He often wants to talk about existentialism to hot girls on my couch, a real turn-off
 
I'm surprised he's survived his own gormlessness all these years.
 
 
 
How likely would you be to entrust your most personal secret to Craig?
 
He already knows them all
 
I think he wouldn't like me anymore
 
...to that judgmental prick?!?!?!?
 
 
 
Do you think Craig would help you with...
 
Spelling a difficult word
 
Cutting onions in the kitchen
 
Washing the fucking dishes
 
Giving you extra, unsolicited opinions
 
Merely taking up asshole space on the couch
 
Talking you into the final act for your own good and that of the whole universe

 
 
 
How do you really feel about Craig?
 
Fuck him