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Has the return of Carmen to Chicago caused you any of the following:

Panic attacks

Heartburn

A desire to relocate

Loss of consciousness

Incontinence

Other

Have you sought therapy to help you deal with Carmen's return? If so, what advice did the therapist offer?

Which of the following best describes Carmen's backhand?

Reports indicate that October's freak storm was Boston's last effort to rid itself of Carmen's evil influence. True or False?

True

Other

Comment:

How would you rate the University of Miami, (from where Carmen allegedly graduated) on the following dimensions?

Comment:

Knowing that Carmen is returning to Chicago, how likely is it that you will stock up on liquor and red wine?

Very likely

Somewhat likely

Other

If Carmen lists you as a reference, would you recommend her?

No, never recommended

Have recommended once or twice with regret

Have recommended several times when on drugs

Other

Carmen suffers from a number of intellectual deficiencies. In her time in Boston, has her intellect improved?

Same

Somewhat lower

Much lower

Other

Do you have any suggestions to improve Carmen's limited intellectual capacity?

What is your gender?

Which of the following categories describes your age?

Younger than 48

Older than Carmen

Prefer not to answer

Other

What best describes your employment status?

Employed full-time but hate my boss

Self-employed still hate my boss

Unemployed, looking for work-- Carmen

Unemployed, not looking for work-- Carmen

Drunk-- Carmen

Asleep--Carmen

Homemaker (but still can't make coffee)-- Carmen

Prefer not to answer

Other

Which category best describes your annual income?

More than Carmen

Less than Carmen-- so sorry

Prefer not to answer-- but still more than Carmen

Other