Comedic Bio

Hey you... Yes you :)
Comedy Central is updating the bios of all the comedians that we think are ridiculously cool. That obviously includes your awesome self so please provide us with answers to the following questions. Don't you dare hold back... Don't do it.

* We want to know more about you. Give us your 100 character bio and make it count!

* Give us your best fits-into-140-characters joke.

Now for the personal details. Are you gonna be honest doe?

1) My worst habits are:

2) You’re most likely to love me because:

3) You’re most likely to hate me because:

4) When I win an Oscar I will thank:

5) In my past life I was:

6) In my next life I will be:

So we want to know your name on the streets. All the streets. Are you even from these streets?

1) What's your rapper name?

2) What's your porn star name?

3) A nickname you have but wish you didn’t?

4) A nickname you don’t have but wish you did?

5) If you were a pet, what would your name be?

6) Childhood nickname by friends/ family?

Would you ever run for presidency?

1) What slogan would you use for presidency?

2) The first law I would DELETE as president would be?

3) The first law I would implement as president would be?

4) As president, I would establish the new Ministry of:

5) Your more likely to be like Fidel Castro, Barack Obama or Donald Trump and why?

Are you asking yourself, what the f*** right now?

1) If you could only eat one food item for a year it would be:

2) Would you rather lose all your hair or double in weight?

3) If I was a biscuit I would be:

4) If I had to hide an elephant I would put it:

5) If you had super powers, what would they be?

And lastly… Is there anything else you want to tell us?