Recently, I’ve been fortunate to have a few “A-ha” moments while listening to the audiobook Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss. It is fantastic, definitely one of those books you’ll want to revisit every 2-3 years. It’s that good.
You might ask: “Okay Alex, but what were the A-ha moments?”
I’ve been a CSM for seven years and have had thousands of conversations with customers. Naturally, a few didn’t go the best way. I remember a situation 3-4 years ago with a difficult customer where we had to endure consecutive four-hour calls! Thankfully, we found common ground, and they are still with us today after that tough beginning. I hadn’t stopped to analyze why that worked until I heard this book.
What allowed us to escape that bad place? Here are the keys:
- Let them vent (Tactical Empathy). As a CSM, sometimes you have to improvise. Listen to the customer and understand not just what they want, but how they want to achieve it. In the beginning, you may need to be a “punching bag” so the customer can release their anger. Remain empathetic and calm, showing that your main goal is to help them achieve the results they hired you for.
- Let them drive. Propose ideas and be clear about the pros and cons of every solution. You are here to advise, not to decide. As Voss says, if the other party feels they are making the decisions, they will feel much more comfortable. Deliver a solution where the customer clearly understands, and chooses the path forward.
- Take ownership and be honest. In the book, Chris mentions taking over a negotiation simply by saying, “Tom is out, this is Chris,” and proceeding to lead. My CSM friends: nobody knows your product like you do. Believe that. When a customer sees that you know the answers—even if the answer is “No, we can’t do that”—they appreciate the honesty.
The Final Takeaway
One of the biggest mistakes I see is the fear of saying “No.” Often, what we think is a “must-have” is actually just a “nice-to-have.” But if you promise it, you turn it into a “must-have” expectation.
